DEAR [Rhona Raskin]: In the last year my mother has frequently threatened to leave my father when they argue. I have had suspicions about the nature of the relationship between a close family friend, "Bob," and my mother. Either there's an affair going on or she's unconsciously seeking attention from Bob that she lacks from my dad. When my father was out of town he visited very early in the morning, and I saw him follow my mother into her bedroom. I confronted her later and she denied that there is anything happening.