Alas, [Penelope] does not register on the social registry because of the niggly fact that she was born with a hog's snout, the result of witch's curse on the effete family of her father (Richard E. Grant). So Penelope's over-protective, overbearing mother (Catherine O'Hara) puts out the story that Penelope is dead, while mom figures out a way to discreetly marry her off to a willing blueblood, as only "one of her kind" can break the curse.

For all her beauty, [Rachael Taylor] looks to be firmly entrenched in the just-another-pretty-Hollywood-face phase of her career. As for Jackson, he elicits as much audience sympathy as a potato in a McDonald's deep-fryer training film. 'Ö'Ö

The DVD extras include a few bits about the grisly special effects and an alternate ending far superior to the existing open-ended theatrical denouement. (The plant's talent for mimicry makes a lot more sense in the context of this ending.) 'Ö'Ö'Ö1/2