As a padre I have encountered this theme many times in the experiences of those who served multiple tours in Bosnia, Croatia and Kosovo as well as those who served in Afghanistan. These were soldiers who were proud to serve, and whose service brought credit and honour to Canada but who upon return to their old lives, have found that somehow they don't seem to fit quite the same as before. War changes a person -- and in the wake of such an experience there is no going back.

Whether it's because too many people are prepared to listen for only so long, or perhaps they have preconceptions which make it difficult to listen at all, or perhaps the soldier is afraid of revisiting certain memories, many soldiers simply stop looking for people who will listen. The experiences get packed away and the pain stays fresh.

I think for the first time I begin to understand why our fathers and uncles "didn't talk about their experiences." How does one speak of events that remain in one's memory as having happened only yesterday -- faces and events that are still so raw that they threaten to overwhelm us with emotion?