And the winner is...

AuthorMarie Henein
g Summer 2015
An the winner is
was recently invited by friends to attend an august awards cere-
mony. Assured that it was a pre-eminent, black tie, legal awards event,
I was sort of honoured to be included– even though I had to pay to
attend. What a night it was.
I should have known something was up when many of my friends–
litigation luminaries all, who did not need any award to acknowledge
their talents– asked why I was there. Not in an “I’m surprised to see
you” way, but in a “Don’t you have something better to do?” way. I didn’t
take the hint to make a run for it, though, probably because there was an
open bar and I was standing right beside it.
I spent much of the evening asking people, including the organizers,
how someone wins one of these awards. People smiled knowingly and
said they would explain it to me later. The selection criteria remained as
mysterious as the Holy Grail. I decided to try to convince the organizers
that I should win the Bankruptcy Lawyer of the Year award, and I got
awfully close.
In school, the rationale for handing out awards was simple: they
went to the people with the highest marks. But we’ve long left Kansas,
Dorothy, and Oz has dierent rules. It’s just that the Wiz won’t tell. Less
Oscars, more People’s Choice. The yearly Las Vegas Porn Star Awards
have more identiable, merit-based selection criteria. We’ve entered the
realm of prom king and queen. Clearly, the prettiest boy and girl in the

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