Personal Growth and Transformation
| Author | Judith Daylen, Wendy van Tongeren Harvey, and Dennis O'Toole |
| Pages | 427-457 |
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Personal Growth and Transformation
Vignette Eleven
A First Nations man who had sexually oended against many of the fe -
males in his extended family over a per iod of thirty years was eventually
convicted and brought to justice. His sentencing hearin g was very dramatic
and moving as eight of his victims tearfully read victim impact statements.
A psychologist who specialized in the treatment of sex o enders also testi-
ed. He spoke about the psychological dy namics of sex oending, and
said, in the case at hand, the oender’s impulses to have sex with female
children were so profound that even the oender himself could not accur-
ately describe or assess his level of risk to re -oend. In the psychologist’s
opinion, the risk of re-oending was s o high that the oender should never
have unsupervised contact with children again, and nothing that th e of-
fender said about his sexual behaviour could condentl y be believed. Ob-
serving the extensive human sadn ess that was the legacy of the oender’s
crimes, the Crown counsel agreed with the victims that, w ith her help, they
would organize a healing circle to bring closure to the case. The women
asked the lawyer to provide the meeting p lace and to help get the circle
started. They wanted the me eting to be private. Although the Crown had
no particular expertise in le ading healing circles, she was honoured by the
request and felt it would be disrespect ful to refuse. The Crown said a few
words to begin the circle and the women in the group quickly to ok over as
the keepers of the circle, and one by one they spoke of their pain and guilt
at having been part of a family where so many children had be en hurt.
court process can challenge and shake
you, disrupting your accustomed ways of thinking and behaving. For some,
428 , ,
these experiences precipitate a crisis, signaling the clear need for personal
change. Many people respond to this challenge and g row emotional ly,
sometimes inspiring change in those around them. In th is chapter, we high-
light the opportunities for growth presented by your experiences in the legal
system and the ways that you may have grown during your personal struggle
without realizing it. We also give examples of ordinary people who contrib-
uted to their communities in extraordinary ways. For those who nd inspir-
ation in thes e stories we provide some g uidelines to a path of social action.
Sexual assault cha nges you. For some people, the change is immediate,
profound, and goes to the core of their being. For others, the changes may
be relatively minor or not immediately obvious. However, what appears
to be a small change today can be the catalyst for broader changes in the
future, both positive and ne gative. We have spent considerable time in pre-
ceding chapters reviewing the negative impact of sexual cr imes. ere is no
doubt that a sexual crime can wreak havoc on a person’s life, leaving pain
and suering in its wake. Sexual assault can take a terrible toll, not only
on the victim, but its eect can radiate outwards from the victim, through
family and friends, to the community a s a whole. e eects are particu-
larly complex when the oender is a well-respected authority gure, an in-
timate, or a family member. ese oences can strain fa mily relationships
and potentially change the dynamics of community l ife.
Sexual assault and its repercussions, including participation in the legal
process, can precipitate a crisis in a person’s life. A crisis challenges and
shakes our modes of feeling, thinking, and behaving, sometimes to the
point of breakdown. In his insightful book, riving through Crisis, Bill
O’Hanlon denes a breakdown as something that “stops you and aects
your life and your sense of yourself so completely that your life cannot go
on as usual.” O’Hanlon suggests that experiencing a breakdown can serve
as a “wake-up call,” alerting you to the need for personal change, and eect-
ing chang es that can lead you , ultimately, to a more fu llling life.
According to O’Hanlon, when life events throw you “into the soup,”
you have the choice to “sink, swim, or nd a crouton to oat on.” A crisis
can quic kly sink us into this metaphor ical soup of despa ir, depression, an x-
iety, and confusion. While some remain submerged in the soup, most of us
manage to oat on some sort of “crouton;” we survive our terrible ordeal.
Examples of these psychological croutons include the basic coping strate-
gies oered in Chapter or, in other words, strategies that allow you to take
a breather, calm down, soothe yourself, or distract yourself when needed.
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