Starting Along the Healing Path
| Author | Judith Daylen, Wendy van Tongeren Harvey, and Dennis O'Toole |
| Pages | 69-99 |
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Starting Along the Healing Path
Vignette Three
Theresa, aged sixteen, goes on a date to see a movie with Christopher,
a seventeen-year-old she knows f rom high school. On the walk back to
Theresa’s home, the couple stops in a park to swing on the swings and
talk. Later that evening Theresa’s older sister H elen nds her distraught
and crying in her bedroom at home. Th eresa says Christopher forced
her to have sexual intercourse in the park. Although T heresa is hesitant,
Helen convinces her to report the incid ent to police. When interviewed
by the police, Christopher does not deny that he had sex with Theresa
but he says it was consensual; nevertheless, authorities eventually charg e
Christopher with sexual assault and arrest him. In the week s that follow,
Theresa sleeps and eats poorly, loses weight, an d does not go out much.
Although she is quite athletic, she loses interest in exercise and her usual
sporting activities. The pre liminary hearing for her case is due to begin in
six months, but Theresa grows emotionally distresse d and overwhelmed.
Her life feels dark and dismal, and she fears she will be emotionally inc ap-
able of carrying through with her case against the accuse d and thinks that
going to the police might have been a mistake.
a traumatic experience, we struggle to cope, but
then we must move on. is chapter deals with the subject of healing and
personal growth. Moving yourself in a positive, healing direction following
a sexual assault not only helps you regain control of your life, but also puts
you in a better position to pursue justice. is chapter discusses the goals of
healing, a variet y of healing approaches, and ways to choose a therapist.
70 , ,
So far, we have focused on the psychological diculties and damages
that may occur as a result of sexual assau lt. Frequently, understanding what
has happened and weathering the initial emotional impact is the rst prior-
ity for victims of such trauma. Having discussed some of those issues, we
will now shi from a focus on damages to a consideration of the issues of
recovery. One way you can shi your perspective is to look at your injuries
as oering an invitation for personal growth. You will have to move on
with your life one way or another, so why not decide to move in a healthy,
positive direction. While anger and bitterness can be satisfying emotions
in the short run, they are heavy burdens to carry for very long. Alcohol
and drug abuse may help you numb the pain or briey escape disturbing
memories, but i n the end these substance s cause more problems than t hey
resolve. Beginning the process of healing will not only help you to regain
control of your life, but it will also put you in a better position to pursue
justice.
Psychologist Sam Keen suggests the following about psychological injuries:
In time, we may transform our liabi lities into gis. e faults that pock-
mark the psyche may become the source of a man or a woman’s beauty.
e injuries we have suered invite us to assume the most human of al l
vocations— to heal ourselves and others.
e most important thing is that you pace yourself while you strive for
emotional awareness and recovery from emotional pain. As you begin the
healing process, we remind you to heed the advice given in the previous
chapter about self-examination, particularly the following th ree issues:
Ask yourself, “Does this symptom truly apply to me?”
Look beyond the damages you have suered.
Take care of yourself.
WHAT IS HEALING?
healing or recovery, many of us think of a return to
“normal functioning,” or living the way we did before the sexual assault
happened. is is a reasonable and obtainable goal for some people; how-
ever, for many victims recovery may not entail a straightforward return to
previous functioning. For example, recovery for those sexually assaulted
during childhood or over long periods of time would not be a return to
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